29 January, 2004

What excites me?


It could be said that I am a very excitable person. If that were said, I would probably say that it is an understatement of the utmost proportions. I think that excitement is the natural state for a rational being. That, or sleep.
Why not live in the world being excited about what one is doing? Isn't it far better to live in the excited blissfulness of a child at play than in the dull drudgery of mere existence that so many of the world seems to crave, and then in self-delusion calling it comfort or security? Why anyone would chain their Selves to a yoke of existence that was not satisfying and exciting, I do not know, when the key to freedom is at ones fingertips.
Jesus said that he would spit out the soup that was lukewarm. Nietzsche said that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. People say that behind every cloud is a silver lining. Heinlein said you can't chain a free man, the most you can do is kill him. Franklin said that a country that trades freedom for security will get neither. The Germans say smile when it rains, cause it will rain anyway. SSG Mac said to embrace the suck.
Taken together, these concepts form a Pattern that is useful. I have tried to break down the basic Tao of the Pattern into a usable system of thought with which to free myself from knee jerk reactions as well as increasing my understanding, which can be gained by embracing situations that cannot be avoided. Since I think understanding is the Tao of Life, the very fact that I can use any given situation to increase my understanding gives me a positive reason to embrace the situation; to live in the Now.
This is the silver lining at it's most basic; it is ALWAYS there, one only has to shift ones focus from what one WISHES to be true, and instead look at the situation as it really is. All it takes is honest appraisal of the situation and acceptance of the Truth. There are generally many more silver linings, but this is the one I use in those unavoidable situations, which can otherwise get me to thinking that life sucks.
Embrace the suck. That is what I rallied my troops around in Albania. Worst fucking living conditions I had ever experienced, and I have experience. It was a good pun, because the mud was so thick and so prevalent that it was literally sucking people down into it to the extent we were recovering them with tracked vehicles. Sometimes life is gonna suck, I think this is a fact, though I cannot prove it. Life has sucked, liable to suck again. The particular manifestation of aforementioned sucking is not altogether outside of our control, but sometimes the Universe will conspire to make it difficult for us to find our happy place, no matter how we prepare. I think there is always a possibility that it is going to rain on the parade.
So, smile, for Pete’s sake. It is going to rain anyway. There are things outside of our control; no use crying over spilt milk, because the past is the one thing that is definitely out of our control. The weather, the fact that I need certain things in order to survive, and gravity; these are examples of things that are largely outside our control. I say largely because there is always Magick. I don’t do a lot of spells, and never felt the need to change the weather or levitate; yet. Cool to play and experiment, but out of respect for Chaos Theory, I don’t use Magick to do things I cannot comprehend the possible effects of.
But there will always be things outside of my control. If they are out of my control, why should I concern my Self with them? A Free man concerns himself with the things he CAN change; sometimes all that is in ones Power is ones attitude, but that is enough. And, like silver linings, there are usually quite a few more things than the basics that one can change, while still maintaining ones dignity, Integrity, and Honor. Betraying ones core values for a quick reward is no answer. Take the hard right over the easy wrong. But do not waste your Power on things outside your realm of influence. Power is limitless, but Time is the Great Limiter.
Worrying or complaining about the situation is not going to change anything. Instead, in those cases, I need to change my outlook, and dance in the rain. The gods will make it rain, it is already set up, like a Clockwork . Who am I to be upset by the Universe? I am but a fly on the windshield, a minor inconvenience but otherwise, my unhappiness and whining will not block the gods’ view for long. And if the manifestation of the gods is my boss, my parents, the police, etc; I am still limited to what I can change.
Accept the things I cannot change; what do the lilies of the field worry for, and are we not more in the eyes of the gods than the lilies? (well, actually, I could debate the value placement, but I was trying to quote Jesus). I don’t believe the gods throw anything at us that we cannot handle; but they also gave us more than enough rope to hang ourselves with, and they are more than willing to let us learn our lessons the hard way. They are good Parents, my gods. Even were I to die, it only means that the time was right, either through predetermination, or because, as a holder of the Purple Heart once said, because I zigged when I should have zagged. But even if I get myself into a situation that could pose a risk to my physical body, what of it? Pain, hardship, discomfort; these are nothing; they are transitory. These are times that one Wills their Self out of the Now, and takes themselves to their happy place, whether it be an Astral Temple, a fond memory, or the comfort of your gods. One does not have to continue feeling the pain or discomfort if one cannot change it. One merely turns off the alarms.
And whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The strongest steel has been tempered the most times through the hottest Fire. As I said, the gods don’t throw stuff at you to strengthen your soul unless you can take it. We, however, can always bite off more than we can chew. So not all hardships we face in life are part of the original class schedule we set up for ourselves while in the Summerland, some of it is just bad decisions come home to roost. One should take their medicine, grimace with the taste if necessary, and drive on. Worst case scenario, I die and have to start over. Or, I just die and rot in the ground, but then I still feed the flowers.
Whining over spilled milk or milk that is about to spill or milk you are afraid will get spilt will only result in me not enjoying the milk that I have Now. And the Now excites me, and that is the best damn milk I ever had.
We are the only ones who can chain our minds. A slave can have the dignity of a King, and a king can be a mere puppet on a string.
We have the key. That excites me. I like to be excited. I find new things exciting. I love new books, and new Ideas. I meditate and still myself and live in the Now so that I might reach an epiphany, a new understanding, and that will excite me and disturb my calmness, shattering my peace. I LOVE that shit. I love to live on the edge, it is where we belong. Yes of course, on the edge means looking out over the abyss.
But that is from where one starts to Fly…

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