03 August, 2008

¡Marijuana no fumar!

I just got finished watching Meet Bill. It was a pretty decent movie along the lines of American Beauty but without the violence or borderline pedophilia. It had some pretty good scenes.
Like AB, though, what it did have, and what bothered me, was the ganja.
It seems like all of these coming-of-middle-age movies are selling the same prescription: your life sucks, you don’t like your job, your marriage is falling apart, and you are out of shape? Smoke some weed, bro!
It doesn’t make any sense to me. Is it because part of my solution to my midlife crisis was the exact opposite? The thought of introducing a chemical substance to induce a positive change in ones life seems ludicrous in light of my history. Positive change can only come from within and, especially later in life, it takes a tremendous amount of focus. Marijuana is not known for its focus inducing quality.
I do see how it implies a ‘lightening up’ so that change can occur, but it is false. It is like having to have a few beers before being able to get on the dance floor. It is a juvenile reaction to the stress of change or discomfort.
I used drugs and alcohol as a child to cope with not knowing who I was and not having the balls to withstand the pressures of my home life enough to create myself into who I wanted to be. I didn’t even know who I wanted to be, so I just became what I saw at home. I certainly did not stop drinking after I joined the Army.  Years later, I had to give those things up before I could even think of becoming the man I want to be.
I don’t understand why Hollywood sells the idea that if you want to change who you are, then you first have to act like a teenager again.
It is not about getting back to who we were. It is about becoming who we were meant to be.

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