23 June, 2008

If I were Dante

There are 370 billionaires in this country and 40 million people living beneath the poverty line. Wake up, 7-11, this is the fucking third world.
     Conrad, Weeds, Season 2, Episode 11

Dante wrote about the circles of Hell, and who would populate each.  I am updating.
General asshats
Circle I Limbo
People who wear a bluetooth headset like an accessory
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
People who play their car stereo so loud I can hear it in my house
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
People who litter
Circle IV Rolling Weights
Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
Parents who let their preteen daughters dress like tramps
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
Osama bin Laden
Circle VII Burning Sands
George Bush
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Healthy people who park in the handicapped parking spot
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

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