13 June, 2008

All right, all right, I'm coming

My day began with someone pounding loudly upon my door at the crack of noon. At first I thought it was the UPS guy and he really really wanted to deliver my stuff from Amazon.com. But hell, there was no reason to act like it was an emergency.
Then I got worried that it was the landlady came to show the apartment to a new renter, which freaked me out a little because I am not supposed to have a pet and the place is trashed because I was up all night packing and I left it a mess when I went to bed.
SO I came to the door saying something like, "Hold on! Where’s the fire?" And of course it was the police which made me think, "Quick! Hide the drugs!" And then I was all, "Oh, I don’t smoke anymore! Layoff the Weeds marathon…"
It turned out there really was a fire in another part of the building and we had to vacate; so I threw some pants on and grab a book and a chair *EDIT* and went outside with my other neighbors. I kind of wished I had some marshmallows. I had the munchies, I think because I OD’d on Weeds.
It was my neighbors who had caught their kitchen on fire and then I was thinking, "ah shit please christ do NOT go apeshit with the waterhoses and flood my apartment!"
I have all of everything I have packed stacked up against the conjoining wall, and I just knew that all my sins would be repaid by having everything I owned flooded.
And then I thought, "Wow, all of fucking the midwest is flooded by acts of god but I made it almost out of this rural ass backwater place unscathed and now my shit is gonna be flooded out by an act of a Chinese couple trying to bake stuff in plastic pans.
God might be more omnipotent, but around a technological university, Chinese couples are more omnipresent.
Luckily they managed to put out the fire without having to bring the pumper truck into the front yard. It was probably one step more exciting for the firemen than saving a kitten from a tree. They probably figured they paused their X-box for nothing.
But me, I had to get up anyway. I’m a busy man.

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