Our ancestors were Warrior Priests. I am sure Dad knows about King Cas, about the Druids, about
the Masons, and about our historical fight against tyranny. Our family has done this for
generations upon generations. I have not forgotten the face of my Ancestors. It is extremely
important to me to live my life in a manner Honorable enough to face my Ancestors as well as my
Creator. There is no forgiveness for an intentional sin; none, nada, zip.
If I settle a conflict with force when I could have settled it with words, I consider myself a
bully. There is no benefit to fighting, generally, an offensive battle. I cannot prove my point
by beating my opponent senseless. I can only prove that I am stronger, more powerful, or more
willing to fight. On the other hand, I will never change my opponent by beating him. I will
galvenize him against me, and make of him an enemy, where before there was just an opponent.
When I went to Albania and Macedonia and Kosovo, I met people on both sides of the conflict.
There were no good guys or bad guys, just a fucked up country in which they have been killing each
other for 1300 years for no other reason than that is the way it has always been done. But we
somehow arbitrarily decided to step in on the side of the Albanians. Now, in accordance with what
I had predicted, the Albanians in Kosovo are the oppresors. Force will not solve the issues in
that region. Period. It just gave us some feel-good time, so that we could say we stopped the
violence. We did, and there are people alive today that would be dead, I am sure. But the
underlying issue is still there, and will only escalate. We only postponed the inevitable.
So I was already faced with the knowledge that I would continue to be used as an instrument for
killing people that did not deserve to die, by my definition. And since, the Nuremberg trials
showed us, the defense, “I was only following orders” is not a valid defense in the face of war
crimes, I was very concerned. I was more concerned because that defense is even less useful when
trying to explain ones actiuons to ones Creator, however that Creator manifests in ones world
view. There is no forgiveness for a sin committed with full knowledge. There is no forgiveness
needed for mistakes. I hope this makes things a bit clearer about where I am coming from. If you
understood me, you would understand why I responded the way I did.
Please understand, also, that I am a staunch supporter of the Liberties set forth in the
Constitution. I have made a hobby of studying the philosophy and politics of great authors, great
societies, and great religious figures. Ghandi and Bhudda, Christ and Mohammed, Rand and
Aristotle, Kant and Jefferson, Heinlein and Hamilton. These are a few of the people who have
helped me along my chosen Path. I think that it is imperative that we THINK about things. Knee
jerk reactions are not the reactions of a reasoned mind. They are the reactions of a mind that is
controlled by someone or something other than the person living in the same body as the reactor.
I am not saying that I think there is a conspiracy of mind control rampant in our government. I
am saying that when we do things without reasoning them out, we are not acting, we are reacting.
And if I am merely reacting to a stimuli, I am no better than Pavlov’s dogs. I am a Human Being,
Created in the Image of the Almighty, and the thing that differentiates me from a common animal is
the fact that I can THINK, I can JUDGE, and I can DECIDE to ACT or to REFRAIN from acting.
If I do not have the choice to act or to refrain from acting, I am not free. If I give up that
choice, and instead merely give the reaction that madison avenue or the spin doctors in DC
anticipate me having, then I have made myself a slave. I give you much greater credit than that
of a Pavlovian creature, Sister of mine, so I shall not try to anticipate your reactions. I would
that you would think, and then decide how to act; I think this is much better than reacting.
I requested CO status because I recognized I was not free. I did not like the direction the
country was heading, and did not like the moral caliber of the people that the country was
electing to determine who and where I would kill. I did not like the fact that politicians had
little or no accountability for their actions, and was ashamed that the American public was
letting them get away with it.
I was living on the line protecting the freedoms of America while America as a whole was not
paying attention to where the country was heading, and freedoms were being destroyed as surely as
the wall in Animal Farm was repainted. Well, I never gave a vow to protect the citizens of
America, nor even the borders of this Nation. My vow was to protect the Constitution. I have not
broken this vow, but I submit that there are those in power now who have. I submit that there is
an agenda loose in this country that will be the end of us if the tide is not stemmed. I submit
that the american people as a whole will not see this in time to stop it, if indeed it is not
already too late.
End Part 4